The Ladies and Their Tramps

the chef

2008-03-14T04:25:00.000-07:00

Lou updating this blog with a refreshing positive.
While spontaneously perusing craigslist, one ad catches my eye:

Glass of wine, some tapas and then a movie? (Battery Park)

Meet me for a chilly glass of vin gris, some little bites of food and then possibly a movie if we make it that far.

Me: Fit, healthy, employed(chef) and amazing company
You: The same, except for the chef part

It never hurts to try and do something different so write back if you are interested. Please send a pic, too. It's only fair. Cheers!

I thought to myself, what the hell, go for it. I write back and the emails begin. He is a personal chef, once executive chef for a restaurant that specialized in BBQ. We send back grainy pictures of each other and do the usual 'what do you do for fun, what do you like, etcetera.
I discover he became a chef from being inspired from his grandmother who was a chef and had an organic sustainable farm for over twenty years. How cool is that? :)
I call him a few days later and our conversation freely flows. I close my phone and look at the talk time. It shows 1:34:09....

However it all comes down to chemistry, right? I wasn't trying to put any expectations in my head because I just didn't want to jinx it. We arrange to meet at Von, he asks to meet at 10. I initially get a little irritated because its a bit late for a Thursday meeting but suck it up because I don't want to doom a date before its begun. I get out of the cab and he he waiting outside for me. Definitely a cutie, thin framed, conservative yet stylish- denims, black sweater with button down and some killer sneakers with green detailing. His hair was short and subtly spiked to make a little mohawk if you noticed. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and an embrace which made me smile. Von was way too crowded so I suggested we walk to Botanica. (predictable? yes I am).

I asked about his day went and what he prepared for dinner and he replied "well, my clients said they will have two guests tonight, so when I got there, I am surprised to see Donald Trump and his wife at the place. I was pretty taken back since its like my third meal I've done for them"
Ha, I am no celeb-obsessed fan but I would definitely want to see Donald's coif in person.

The night started a bit quiet, and I couldn't decipher if he wasn't interested or if he was just nervous. But as we spoke more, he began to open up. We spoke of Paris, foods, movies, green, music.... nice and comfortable.

We decided to walk back to Von because he wanted to check it out so we had our third Stella and Bass while discussing our love for Oscar Peterson and all the jazz greats. We had a sweet kiss in the bar, I mention I loved the song playing but didn't know the name. Its a Nina song and he replies "oh, its called Lilac Wine" (impressed. yes I was.) I say to him, oh, great..don't let me forget that..

We walk to the street, kiss once more before the cab drives me home. I get a text moments later that that writes:

"Goodnight pretty smile, lilac wine is the song"

Dissappointed for the Last Time

2007-09-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

I've been slipping on my blog posts... work has been crazy and my rent proves to pay for a roof over my cats head more than mine since I am rarely home these days.

Last night I learned that getting let down by a guy who is a friend hurts a HELL of a lot more than these random guys that we go out on dates with that become mere blips on our radar. Getting let down by friends in general just... it just fucking sucks and stings and creates different emotions.

So check it.

I've considered this friend of mine worthy of keeping around after he started acting flaky over the course of the past year. We've been friends for around 4 years, and looking back, I'd say he's been a flake for more than half of that time... so frankly, I'm happy that it's over.

He has a job which requires him to travel, and in the process he's made it clear that a number of his friendships have been severed because he just don't have the time. He also has a girlfriend that he's needed to breakup with for months now, because she doesn't deserve the little bit of time that he DOES have.

Basically, he has been that friend that I see once every six-eight months. And in between come the apology phone calls, and the calls that cancel plans that have been made the day of, and the "aw... okay. well i'll call you and we will DEFINITELY get together next week! i promise" call that never comes.

Yesterday he resurfaced again. And like every other time, I gave in and said to myself "yea, he's probably gonna cancel... but he seems like he really needs an ear, and he seems as if he's REALLY back this time, so sure i'll meet him" so I agreed to meet him at my local bar. I took a car home from work and as promised, I called him and told him I was in transit. He said that he was too. "whoa!" i thought to myself... I'm actually going to get to see him! He's on his way too!... so then I arrive at the bar and I send him a text that says "Im here" and he replies back "en route"....

I order myself a beer. 1/2 of it's gone and it's 10 minutes later. I regret not having a periodical of some sort, because I'd much rather look like the weirdo who comes to a bar and reads in the dark rather than the girl who looks like she got stood up.

15minutes now. Beer is gone. Asked if I want another... "sure" i say... I keep checking the door hoping that Ill see a tall figure with an apologetic face walk through... i'd act pissed but then punch him in the arm and tell him it's okay.

1/2 of the second beer is gone. At this point, I am getting angry and I start texting my friends. 50 minutes now and beer all gone, I say fuck it and leave. I walked my block home pissed. The moment I get on my stoop, I get a text from him that simply says "....", followed by a phone call.

me: hey! (sarcastic and pissed hey, of course)
him:..........h..e..y. yea.
me: yea
him: yea... so. where are you?
me: actually, im keying in to my apartment. i left. where are you?
him: park and vandy (street corners near the bar)
me: oh ok. thats nice.
him:...aaah. god. well so much for having fucked up friends huh? i fucked up
me: yep.
him: okay. well i'll talk to you later?
me: whatever dude... i don't even know what to say. take care of yourself.

Then i went upstairs and got even more pissed. No apology from him. No explanation. No nothing. But this time, the more I think about it... I'm happy that he didn't explain, or apologize. Because if he did, Im sure I would have forgiven him like I always do. So I'm grateful that he didn't say a damn thing this time.

...I couldn't help but wonder what happened though. Was he still at home when he typed "en route" but lied?

Then I have to stop myself... because this was just the icing on the cake. I've never been stood up before. Not even by any past online dates. It's the ultimate diss. It just hurts even more because I'm angry that he threw our friendship away. He wasn't just some *guy* to me.... he was my friend. And friends don't do that.

He sent me a text 20mins later that said: "sorry i've been a shitty friend, g'night"

and i replied:
"im not quite sure what to say other than i just cant set myself up for disappointment anymore. i'm around. call me when you're life settles. i'm around"

i regret typing the last three sentences. i should have stopped at the first. but of course that was the part of me talking that really DOES hope he comes around one day... but after a long bitching session with my lady lou, and with scientist... i've decided that i'm NOT going to allow him to stir up my life anymore and ask to make plans only for them to be canceled.

on another note...

i have still been seeing the scientist. and i guess i haven't written much or talked about it because i don't want to jinx a seemingly good thing. we've been hanging out for around a month now, i guess (that seems about right...i actually met him for the very first time the day that my grandmother passed away, and that was over a month ago now).

at first i was hesitant because we didn't seem to have a thing in common, but could some how talk about things for hours. i knew i always looked forward to seeing him, but couldn't figure out why. i've lost count of how many times we've enjoyed one anothers company at this point. i guess we're beyond the "oh god, is he going to call me after the second date" stage... we talk every night on the phone and email throughout the day and it's all becoming a nice routine. i kinda can't imagine not talking to him at this point. and i've gotten to learn a thing or two about enzymes and proteins, and all of the grants that he's writing to pursue his research. he has no clue what i'm talking about when i talk about redesigning pages, or stories changing, etc etc. but somehow we learn from one another and even if we don't *get it... we try to, and it becomes another conversation where we learn something new.

some friends met him, and they all really like him. and he also really likes who he met, and even threatened to beat up a guy who was being an asshole to lou last friday.

so yea... i am taking it one day at a time, and i am definitely in-like. he is going to california for a week and i'm going to miss him. this dude doesn't have a cell phone and will be in the mountains and will be off of the grid for a week.

a few weeks ago, he showed up at my door with flowers and lamb chops and made me a delicious dinner. and he's offered to build me a shoe rack from scratch (he accidently saw my closet). i'm very weird when it comes to accepting things from dudes, so i've been declining, but he said he's going to just show up with it because he wants to make it for me when he gets back...

i'm a happy lady. so far he's just proven to like me, and care about me. and i am putting my defensive "oh god, how is he going to be an asshole, or fuck up, or hurt me" gaurd down for the moment, and i'm just enjoying it as much as he seems to be enjoying me.

the photographer

2007-09-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

One Saturday night six ladies ventured to a lovely little dive called the Brooklyn Social. The bar that was happily populated with ratio of men to women being prob. 4 to 1. The first guy I met was absolutely adorable, he had blonde curly hair, a great smile, and one of those boys you assumed would be from Colorado or something.... until I found out that he was 21. ;( too bad for me... Sigh, no wonder he was so charming, he wasn't tainted by the dating scene of this crazy city.
Later I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. When I get out, I find out that every one of the ladies that I arrived with were connecting with a guy. Not wanting to step on anyone's "game" I sat at the bar and ordered a beer. I noticed a cute boy staring but neither one of us made that first move. So I sipped my lager, looked to my right: Ellie D chatting with an oh-so-hottie and to my left was a quiet, non-threatening looking male, (Sex In the City reference- He was definitely a Skipper.) But, I am not so hot either because no one is chatting it up with me, so I decide to just start a conversation for the sake of conversation.

I say: "hey, how are you doing?"
him: "Not good, I met this girl tonight and I really liked her but I don't think she liked me
much because she left"

I sigh.. because I immediately think "do I want to spend my night listening to this poor soul talk about his self esteem issues? not so much. "

The cute guy that never made the first move, smiled at me because he
A. heard the conversation and
B. prob. knew what was going through my mind because he then sits next to Skipper, talks to him for a minute then somehow we just start a conversation. Five minutes later, Skipper gets up and leaves. Thus begins my introduction to the photographer.

He is suprisingly my age (I always meet guys older for some reason). He was funny, complimentary, and so entertaining that we closed down the bar. He calls me on Monday and we decide to meet up on Wednesday to meet for drinks, possibly dinner. I am a little hesitant because I am not quite sure if he would be as cute as I though (never know with beer goggles) but as soon as I walk into the bar, I remember him instantly and smile because he is actually cuter then I remembered him! We instantly just get each other, laugh, smile, chat. I have to admit its been a while since that has actually happened.
It would honestly be perfect except there is on red flag. Kind of a major one. He just got out of a 6 year relationship about three months ago and he was staying in Brooklyn with a friend because his ex whom he lives with him is moving out in a month. ugh.
And so we discuss it, he is open about telling me about his ex and tells me they were fighting for the last two years (yaddy yadda.. )they finally break up and he is now just starting to meet new people. He isn't being sleezy about it but refreshingly very honest. He did say "I am not looking to get into a relationship (duh, obviously) but I think we really have a lot in common and I would love to get to know you but if you meet someone else, I totally would understand..."
So I know its good that he is being honest, and if I just wanted to have fun, he would be the perfect guy for that, but I actually do want a relationship and my fear is that what would I do if I really start liking him? I am definitely not going to be a rebound chick, hells no.

Later that night we go to another bar and play some pool. We are having a great time, laughing, smiling, chatting and eventually kiss (yum, great kisser btw). When the clock strikes twelve, we decide to call it a night and he walks me to my apartment. We have one of those super passionate five minute make out sessions and then eventually say our good-byes.

SO I need you opinions please. What do I do? Should I even bother seeing him again because there is no point, or do I keep going out with with him seeing no light at the end of the relationship tunnel......?

update

2007-09-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

i'm glad i trusted my gut, and didn't write the other two guys off, because the main contender, Mr. Front Runner, dropped the ball last night in a spectacular display of flaky inconsideration.

so what did he do? here goes. during our date last wednesday, i invited him to be my guest at what was inarguably the hottest art event of the season, taking place last night. this is a ticket that everyone i know was asking for, and i invited him. when i woke up and saw it on the front page of the arts section yesterday, i was so excited that i'd be showing up with this handsome man, blah blah blah.

around 230 i leave him a voicemail asking where he'd like to meet. i then go about my extensive grooming routine, growing increasingly apprehensive as the hours tick by and i hear nothing. finally, at 5 o'clock, two hours before the event begins, i get an email from him, basically saying that he's exhausted and drained and not up for it, and can we make a date for another time?

are you kidding me?

seriously?

of course i don't reply, and call my friend kate who is more than happy to join me. i think that maybe once he realizes that he hasn't gotten a reply, he'll call, just in case, you know, i'm not near my email and never got the message. just so, you know, i don't think i'm being stood up.

no.

no call.

i'm washing my hands of this one.

but i have a date tonight with the scouser (that's slang for resident of liverpool, dontchaknow), and one on thursday with the photographer. so yeah, moving on.

men!

the latest from lady

2007-09-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

(excerpted from my latest blog entry)

so i dove back into dating, first trying craigslist, then moving on to the much more satisfying and rewarding nerve, and after a few hiccups (the crazy, manipulative lawyer being more of a temporary coma than a hiccup, but whatevs), i found myself with a very full dance card.

this now leaves me in an interesting and not altogether unenviable predicament. i'm currently dating three men. one of these men is definitely leading the pack, and as is my wont i'm feeling like letting the others loose in order to devote all of my energy and hot-damn sexiness to the one main contender. but here's the rub: i've done that before, and found all of my farm-fresh eggs thrown into very unworthy baskets. beyond that, despite his clear interest in me, and what i took to be an intimation that he's not interested in either of us seeing other people, he's still up on nerve every night and just today has updated his profile a bit. so if he's all about the Lady, what's that aboot?

i'm trying to chill the eff out, not get paranoid, and not expect too much too soon (these are all unfortunate tendencies of mine, stemming from insecurities that despite 8 years on the couch still seem so hard to shake). i want to just have fun with him right now, and damn is he fun. the sex is amaze, we have an absurd amount in common (he's basically the male version of me), and he's been very attentive and gentlemanly in all the best ways - for goodnessakes, he's even talking about taking me on a weekend jaunt to chicago.

but i still feel like i should keep seeing the other two very worthy, handsome, smart, funny, and nice men, if only to keep myself from falling headfirst into something of which i'm still not super secure. i just don't want to feel like i'm using them or leading them on.

advice on this is more than welcome.

Headlines

2007-08-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday morning, everyone. I was just browsing my nerve's "who's viewing me?" listings and thought I'd share with you some of these headlines. (the good, bad and the ugly)

good (these were really great):

low tolerance, huge capacity

your friendly neighborhood scientist

mutual seduction, admiration....and the art of kissing.

If you were from mars, that'd be cool

bad (enticing? mm... I think not so much):

Glamorous nymph with an arrow and bow

waiting for the spaceship to pick me up...

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

Full of Emptiness

ugly (lol, wow):

Let me first fail to impress you but later rock your world

New & Improved!...FREE OFFER!...Act NOW!!

Song that puts me in the mood: "AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long."

The Nice Guy

2007-08-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

So.... when I said I "*retired from dating" that asterisk meant I retired from the Nerve personals. Mr. nice guy I met from Myspace. I was just regularly checking to see if any of my friends contacted me and up popped a message from Mr. nice guy. He was cute, teddy-bear features and his friends looked pretty normal, so I figured, why not, lets chat. The emails were funny, cute, witty and I think we conversed back and forth for almost a week? Then he asked me if he could call me (loved that he took his time and contacted me the right way (emails, phone, then ask me for a drink... I mean what's the rush, right?? :) and we spoke for a bit then decided to meet at my local dive. When we did meet, I am sure I was still jaded from all the past crazy dates because when I saw him, I wasn't so into it and so I just wrote it off. It was a "nice" date, but to me, just lukewarm because it was just oksy convo and unfortunately so loud that we had a hard time communicating. However , the one thing that crossed my mind was "hmm, he's a nice, normal guy, maybe I could like this guy?"

The next day, I woke up and thought about the situation. He was nice, but nothing amazing so I just got over it and decided to write him off. But he kept writing and I kept writing back. He went out of town this weekend so I didn't hear from him till today...

Today he texts me and we finally meet up in soho because I needed to get my sister's bridal shower gifts and he just "happened to be in the neighborhood". I figured, well, this is a non-threatening guy and why not? Well, this spontaneous date went amazingly! Seeing him in daylight, I thought he was much cuter, great taste in the shades (sunglasses), he had rayban squared aviators (classic, clean) and just was more confident. We had lunch, I learned more about him, and then he proceeded to run all around soho with me looking for presents. We laughed, flirted, walked...quite the quintessential New York date. :) I just laughed to myself because I didn't even notice these things about him the first time we hung out... such a nice surprise.
Oh, it was great too because he knew soho like the back of his hand, and since I am absolutely horrible with directions, it worked out so efficiently. Agent Provocateur, Crate and Barrel... we did up soho like a bonified couple. Lastly we shared a glass of wine at B Bar and doodled on the table (there was paper on the table tops). Since I was leaving for the weekend (my sister's shower) he asked if we could see each other soon, I said "sure, when were you thinking?" he goes after a thought, "how about tomorrow?" I immediately was surprised and said "tomorrow??" and he just got red and said "sorry, I know, that was probably too forward! Just forget I said that". That was too cute for me, and of course I gladly said I would love to. He walked me back to the subway, and during out walk, we kissed on a quiet, non-trafficed street. It was one of those moments that was so sweet and as we parted, I smiled all the way back home with a little happy skip in my walk. I actually had such a nice, great date with this dude! Hopefully dinner tomorrow will be just as nice....

Fucked If You Do, Damned If You Don't

2007-08-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well Boxer Boy and I are through and guess what, it's not because of any class issues. Nope, in fact it's the grand old leveler - sex. To be exact, he told me tonight that he needed to be "more sexually challenged." Translation: Drunk last night, I didn't finish the job I started, naaahwaamean.

This morning I knew he was upset about it but damn I didn't think he'd avoid my calls all day and tonight tell me that he doesn't think it'll work out. When I started crying, he asked me to stop crying because it was making "this" harder for him.

What makes this sting so much more is that last year a very close friend and I developed strong feelings for each other. But when we finally had the "what to do?" talk he admitted that my number of past sexual partners intimidated him and he worried he wouldn't be able to please me. ...So that was that.

..and now I'm rejected for apparently not being sexual enough, go figure.

Oh yeah and as fate would have it, I'd gone shopping with Ellie D earlier today to pick up some toys. I thought to tell Boxer Boy such since I'm apparently so blah in bed and his response, "Well, how do you know I'd be into that stuff?" So apparently I don't challenge him sexually enough but even when I spontaneously try to my spontaneity is inconsiderate.

Up Next: Boxer Boy's entire list of reasons

New Ad for Elli D

2007-08-23T17:54:00.000-07:00

I just posted a new ad, but came across this one while browsing the W4M ads to see what other ladies say. And this one is the first one that came up, which i find hilarious... Sorry, but I think that this girl is dumb. Who in their right mind LOOKS for a musician??

Here is her ad... My latest ad will rub some guys the wrong way, and I'm sure I'll get some "you're a bitch!!" replies. But I'm sick of the bullshit and just posted what I am and am not looking for.

ANYWHOO: here is dumb girls ad.

Are you a musician? - 27
Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-23, 5:37PM EDT

I have a weakness for musicians which usually leads me to trouble but I continue to search for a musician that will bring some good into my life. I love music and am so drawn to musical talent. I'd like to meet someone whos life is music but still has the time for a chicky...if they find the right chicky ;)

We won't get along if you are selfish, controlling, insensitive, unaware, ignorant, can't hold an intelligent conversation, are addicted to hard drugs,can't commit even if you find the right girl, are overly critical....

We will get along if you are fun, kind, generous, laid-back, active, happy, funny, cute and want to show me new things as well as learn new things from me :)

Tell me why you responded to my ad and send a pic too... No pic no response...sorry. I will send one of myself in return.

27-32 single male only!

_______________

And here is mine

please - 26
Reply to: pers-xxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-23, 8:42PM EDT

please don't:
1. be a musician or an artist (you people all need to just stick to dating one another)
2. work on wall street and brag about how you can always pay for your dates (i can pay for my own beer, and you should be able to pay for yours too)
3. live with your parents or siblings (how would we fuck if your parents are in the next room over?)
4. have any roomates (how would we fuck if your roomate is home--i'm not one for quiet sex)
5. have a girlfriend, or an ex you're not over (i don't have the time, and it's not fair)
6. reply to this ad knowing that you're busy (lame)

please:
1. have friends and hobbies and fun things that you do outside of work.
2. have a job (one that pays your own rent)
3. a good concept of time
4. be any race, height
5. don't be any older than 40 or any younger than me
6. live in brooklyn, not coney island brooklyn. but *you're 3-4 subway stops in from the the city*, brooklyn
i know that you're out there. you don't even have to be handsome (the handsome guys are the one's that tend to suck)...just be able to string sentences together, be able to pay for your own coffee if i get us in to the MoMa for free, and enjoy an ice cold brooklyn lager. having a bike for joyrides is always good too.

sbf twenty six single cute creative sane and funny here. pic for pic.

______
we shall see what the craigslist cat will drag in.

Bright eyes update

2007-08-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

I had date number two with bright eyes then I never blogged about because I just was too embarrased, but just got a recent update that I must blog about. The night was good overall but there were a few factors that made me think not-so-much.

1. while we were drinking, I asked him casually "hey, tell me something about you that I don't know.." he replies "well, in college I used to experiment with guys and I really liked it". then persisted to tell me that he still is attracted to men, blah blah blah.
2. he just got out of a 4 year relationship a month ago
3. he was super reserved, temperature in the flirt thermometer read zero celsius
4. on our kiss goodnight, I finally understood the meaning of feeling like you kissed a fish.

So of course I write the dreadful letter (hey, I should get props, most people don't even write the letter!):

"Hey xxx,
I hate writing these emails but I just wanted to be honest with you.
I just don't think we really are a good fit for each other. I had a great time with you, but I guess it was just a couple things that made me reevaluate our compatibility. I am sure you are offended, and you have every right to be, but I just want to let you know that I really am not trying to offend, just be honest with you.

I hope we can be friends ...

-me"

and I know, its a shitty letter to write someone, but at the end of the day, its so much better then never calling them back and ignoring their calls, etc. right? I was being honest.
Later I get a response from him later (which i just received last night):

"no problem. i'm curious...what are those couple things? and don't
worry, you won't hurt my feelings."

I am super swamped today, so I didn't get a chance to write, but honestly, what the eff do you write back? Hi, I think you're gay? Not interested in getting with some guy that just got out of a 4 year relationship,... and now I just got this email:

"Your cat got your tongue? Or perhaps someone asked you to solve a puzzle
or offer to pick up more than two drinks."

what the hell was that? Now I am pissed off, that was just not necessary and rude.

so of course me being me writes this:

"excuse me? Were you trying to be an asshole by that comment?
I actually have not been at my computer long enough to take some time to write you back, and then I get this. Nice to show your true colors."

ugh, men. this is why I *retired.
*retired from meeting, dating any more men from nerve.com. and being very selective in who I am going to date if I meet someone elsewhere.

ugh, so over it!

Musician on myspace

2007-08-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am not trying to gang up on the musicians, but just thought this was funny because we have just had a posting on this. It's Lou here, and I need your thoughts...

I am just checking my myspace account and of course you get the random friend requests from the musical groups, so this guy sends out a friend request. I check out the profile, his pictures are cute but I don't bother listening to the music and don't accept.
He then writes me an email:
"Hey there.. don't want to be my friend? :( lol "

Then I say:
hah, I'm surprised you noticed that I didn't accept, aren't 1775 ladies on your website enough? :)

Him:
" lol, they are there mostly for marketing and band stuff. I don't even talk to a half of a half of a half of them. lol
There are only a few that I talk to on a normal basis. I would like to read your profile and get to know you not just have you on my list of "friends"
who knows I might just surprise you :)"

I think think, oh why not accept (I am set to private). He writes back:
haha that is funny. see then I really might just surprise you if you give me a chance to get to know you and you get to know me. ;)

I'm upstate at my singers house waiting for our guitar player to get here so we can get on the road to New Orleans we will be driving down tonight and will be coming back on sunday night

so you accepted my request? :) thanks! wow you are very beautiful! AND you're single??? no way.. wow and a huge music fan too!!!!! hmmm
so what are the chances that I could possibly get you to go out with me sometime in the future? ;)

Now I'm thinking, awe he's so sweet. I then take a real look on his profile. He is cute but what shocks me is that there are all these half naked women (seriously, not at all being subtle or understating in this comment) all over his website. Actually he has a part where he shows women naked from all over the world that say "hey, I haven't spoken to you in a while (this chick just had underwear and no bra), or just showin' some luv " and they are all asian. -I am asian. Marketing? What kind of Marketing is that, because I never knew that pasting hundreds of pics of skanky women heightens the desirability factor of someone's music career?
His personal pics, however were sweet... and.... I am still thinking no and write him this:

Hey xxxx,

you seem quite charming and I am sure you are a nice guy. Sure we can be friends, other then that.. I have to be honest, your website is like showing me a thousand red flags waving in my face.lol.. I am not a serial dater, just waiting for a nice real relationship, so I don't think we are looking for the same thing. but friends, I can do that..

Anyhow, good luck on your show, I am sure you will be fantastic!

-me

and this morning I get a last email from him saying:

Lou,
I understand how looking at my profile you can have red flags. But do not judge a book by its cover. My MySpace profile is for my band. Promoting it and such. Its really an image thing. I can assure you that I too am looking for a relationship. Something deep meaningful and long lasting. I'm a hopeless romantic and you would never guess it by looking at my profile. I have dated and I'm so over that. I want to have someone special in my life so I'm sorry to say you have me all wrong. That's why I would Ike for you to get to know me and me get to know you. Just give me a chance. Go out on one date with me. If you still feel that way fine. But at least give me a chance. Please.

Okay, so obviously he is really trying hard but I still feel reluctant and now I just feel bad about this.

Thoughts please!!

"Play By Ear"

2007-08-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

Yep. It's starting, and I think I'm already over it.

Here is the reply I got to "So Musician, do you still want to hang out sometime this week?":

"sounds cool, although i'm not sure if i'll be able to...i really need to buckle down for the show....even though its not going to be a big show, it's going to be video taped by some heads from chicago. so, this weekend i may be heading upstate NY. just to get away and work without distractions. we'll have to play it by ear"

....

"okay" i reply

and then:

"we'll have to play it by ear i also have to meet up with my homegirl many times this week. she's an amazing artist and needs my help infact i supposed to meet her today, but with this rain...i dunno"

....

whatevs dude. and this exactly why, like i said... no expectations. and then he proceeded to direct me to his "homegirls" myspace page so that i could see her "amazing" art where she does "amazing live shows"

ILK. i think i'm just in a bad mood. i admit, it's gloomy out. i'm feeling down, and i just want to go home and snuggle with someone (him), and he's doing the typical "gotta practice/chill with my homies" stuff... which, i already expected going in. but when it happens, that's when it sucks.

What Happens When He's Still A "Frog"?

2007-08-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

Hi all, Brown Baby aka BIg Girl Panties here, finally. The posts have been so good I just haven't wanted to bother putting my own %$^ up here.

Psyche!!...I'm just a lazy ass mofo. My story isn't as lighthearted as some here so I apologize for bringing anyone down to our pathetic realities:

For a little over a month now I have been going out Boxer. He has a great smile, tall, dark, and handsome, makes me laugh, someone I enjoy so much that I break my cardinal rule. Yes, folks, I talk to him on the phone for more than 30 seconds. Anyone who knows me well knows I hate talking on the phone. I don't know why, some 21st century form of ADHD. I'd rather you email and text me plans to meet up to gab rather than talk on the phone. I'd just always rather do something else. I only break that rule for lifelong friends and relatives, especially the elders. But Boxer has had me on the phone for over an hour - gasp - and laughing - gasp - and not wanting to get off the phone - GASP!

While we have fallen into the inevitable "your place or mine" movies and chicken get-up that occurs once a dating couple starts knockin' boots, he still likes to go out and do fun things. His fun attitude towards life is one of his best qualities and his insightful nature and emotional maturity are astounding for a man (sorry).

So what could possibly be the problem? Here's a guy who's great in bed AND wants to be with me AND is great in bed? The problem is the same centuries-old bullshit: the double standard. If Boxer were a female and stripped at every nightclub in town and my name was HUMAN WITH PENIS getting my doctorate at an Ivy League, there'd be no problem. Because it's ok for men to, ahem, "date down." But when I, HUMAN TIED DOWN BY HER VAGINA, fall for an unknown pro-boxer who pays the rent by training NYC clientele, got his associates in dentistry from community college, who once ran with a very well-known still-thriving East Coast gang and only got out when his best friend was killed, who has tattoos all up and down his arms (ok, actually I find that incredibly sexy), and, sigh, a small diamond jewel on one of his canines in his gorgeous smile...it's all kinds of bad.

I went to a small top ten-ranked private girls' school, he was held back when he emigrated here from the West Indies because of his problems translating and reading. I grew up as the quintessential Washington, D.C. black middle class princess. Now black middle class is different than white middle class in some important ways but for the most part I grew up rarely wanting for anything save my mom's sanity to return. Though D.C. was still Murder Capital when I was there, most of the violence I witnessed was on the news or heard of at the kitchen table. He grew up witnessing shootings on a weekly basis. Yet, all we have together is fun, we talk about his life, my life and there's never any awkwardness. It all feels like one big learning experience and its core is a great emotional intimacy.

There's all kinds of potential societal problems the both of us have acknowledged (my heart ached when he looked up at me once and said "do you really think you could be with an average joe like me?").

Sometimes I think I haven't felt this close to someone since my last significant relationship that was almost three years ago. So when all is said and done I'd be a damned fool to pass up any opportunity to be close to someone because of what others may think......
......still, I am not in college anymore. I am 25, he is 28 and we'd also be damned fools to think the gap between us isn't real enough to ignore.

Musician Number Three: Part Two

2007-08-17T09:01:00.001-07:00

My date with Musician Number Three was too... um.... I won't really be blogging about it, but will be yapping about it with my ladies tomorrow at the picnic.

It went very well. I got laid. And it was good. But. I made the mistake of turning off my AC (i dont sleep with it on if i don't have to, and it wasn't hot last night)... and he fucking sweat up my new sheets.

THESE BRAND NEW, from Target, super cute, embroidered sheets. Now... it wasn't smelly sweat, just WET. And he was embarassed. and I felt bad. He didn't sweat when we did it again this morning. So maybe it's only because it was hot last night (i guess??)....

Jesus though. I sweat. We all do. We all have pores. But please!! Has anyone else experienced this? And I happen to like my sheets and don't want it to be a thing where everytime he comes over (if he does, which i hope he does) I have to have backup sheets for when we actually fall asleep??

So far, this is the only unsettling thing... other than that, I'm still all nervous-like because he is

1. very cute
2. very funny
3. very straightforward and seemingly intelligent
4. *likes*me... like, it makes me blush, because I havent felt as if anyone has *liked* me since my ex. and feeling *liked* just feels different...and nice...and good
5. very affectionate

This ended up being long. More deets at the picnic tomorrow. But i REALLY hope that this sweating thing is only because it's august and humid and all that. Cause that shit is not cute, and I admit, I was a little pissed cause my sheets are cute and new. Dammit!

Bright eyes

2007-08-16T04:27:00.001-07:00

After a string of horrid dates, I have decide to just take things slowly and carefully decide who I want to meet up with. Btw, Mouth wrote me and said "What's up? Why have you been MIA, you busy? You out of town or are you scared of me? :)"
It kinda was the third one which he had no clue... So I had the write the painful "we're not a good fit" email and I have not heard from him since.

Now we come to the chapter of Bright eyes. I've spoken to Bright eyes for about a couple weeks now (of course on nerve.com). The wonderful thing I noticed about him is that he wasn't pushy about getting my phone number or meeting up for a drink but oh so much the gentleman (which then almost made me skeptical *the jaded dater in me thinking...)

We emailed back and for for about ten emails and talk on the phone for about an hour the night before we met for our date :) I was talking about this movie 2 Days in Paris so he suggested we see it and then go to a bar close by and get some drinks.

After I drop off my work stuff at home, I changed into something comfortable cute and headed to the Angelika. Well, I don't know if it was the thickness of my dress (wore a couple layers) or maybe I was nervous (which I didn't feel nervous?) because I was just sweating. -- so annoying because it wasn't even all that hot outside.

I meet him on the steps of the theater, it is breezy outside so I think I am cooled down... btw am oh-so-happily surprised (Thank God!). He was very handsome, beautiful blue-green eyes and had a great smile that made his entire face light up ultimately making you smile. - love that :)

So we give a cute awkward hug and went inside. As we begin to talk, I notice I am still sweating! It is really embarrassing because I look around and everyone in the place looks cool as a cucumber and its not like I am drenched but I worry I have a dewy mustache or something..... But we keep talking as I am internally obsessed with thinking me=sweaty pig.
So of course I say "I'm so embarrassed, I don't know why I am so hot right now-- and try to laugh it off". Bright eyes laughs too and smiles at me while trying to make me feel like its no big deal. awe.

We find seats and finally the sweating stops (phew).

The movie was funny but a little slow in the middle but overall cute (I suggest wait and Netflix it). Afterwards he chooses this super cute bar that's about three blocks away (perfect choice!- looked like a little French bistro that was just the right crowded and it had a side room that was empty lit by a few candles and by chance one table empty.
We had a couple glasses of Cabernet and spoke about family, life, friends, food, etc. Bright eyes was not a comedian or a super outgoing guy but actually more reserved. Not the reserved where it is intimidating or uninviting but the type where you enjoy the silences and wonder what he thinks about. He even bought the Elvis Perkins album I mentioned on my profile- how cute is that?!

Clock strikes 11:30 and I say unfortunately I have to go home, he concurs. When my cab approaches, I turn to give him a hug and he surprises me with a light kiss on the cheek. I blush and say goodnight.

Later I text "Thank you again for a great night, you were wonderful :)"

He texts back "Thanks. I share the sentiment, you're smart, sweet and if I may add foxy too"

Hopefully there will be date #2 with Bright eyes......

cheese ball

2007-08-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

Here's my very first email that I received on Nerve (he was 47years old. I am 27 years old......
He also said he looked like Mikhail Baryshnikov. hmm... not so much. Needless to say I didn't respond."

title:
"Interested in Flirting a LIttle?"

subject:

Hi,

I just added you to my shopping cart.
How do I proceed to the check out.

thanks,
xxxx

Musician Number Three

2007-08-14T08:18:00.001-07:00

I broke my own (and mmmpez, and Moxielady, and JHo's) rules by going on a date with yet another musician. The first musician, he was from last summer, and he actually wasn't bad at all, he just got bored of me after around 2 months... but I mean, we enjoyed one anothers company and stuff until he sent me the "sorry, i've met someone in real life i've decided to date, and i really need to focus on my music" email. The next one was Canadian, who was a DJ who also needed to "focus on his life and music". And then we have musician number three, who i mentioned briefly in the scientist post by referring to him as the "douchebag from ichat".

Anyways, I'm going to try and keep this short and sweet. I got talked in to getting ONE drink with the Musician Number Three. I told him through chatting that his being a musician was already a red flag for me (that hurt his feelings, but i was just being honest), and that musicians should date other musicians, because they are horrible at balancing time, and I don’t want to waste my time on someone who has a poor concept of it. But, he asked that I come out anyway… said that he’s different, etc. So I was like… that’s just fine. Lord knows I need some distraction, and if anything this will be a great bad date story for the Lady blog.

We went to a cute bar in Fort Greene. He is by far, the cutest guy I’ve ever met from online dating. A great smile and teeth, a cute laugh. He’s short, but…well that’s fine. We stayed there for a little while and managed to strike up a conversation with a total stranger who of course was in a band, and the two of them began bouncing songs/groups/venues off of one another. Thankfully that only lasted for like 5 mins before we started talking about movies.

After around an hour or so, we got bored and went to my beloved college dive bar and got some lager. And then I saw another friend of mine I hadn’t seen since college, and she was with a friend, and the four of us all sat around chatting, and then we sang along to around three songs in a row that came on the jukebox. That one drink turned in to 4 beers, and then it was time to go home. He had to wake up for his job (That’s right.. he has a JOB thank god. He’s a designer as well, and does exhibition/signage for one of my favorite museums in the city—so he was able to pay for his own beer)

So. That was it. This is the part of the post where I evaluate the date and I’m going to type the following: I had a really good time. Yes, I hope to see him again. Yuh huh, there was chemistry, and I will take it one day at a time without any expectations.

He insisted I call him when I got home so that he knew I got there okay, and didn’t want to get on the subway until he knew I was in a cab home. At one point he did this really cheesy, blantantly funny move where he jumped in and held my hand and we walked that way for a block until it was time to part ways. And then we had a nice, tongue-less kiss goodnight.

We’ll see where it goes, but I had a really good time, and wouldn’t mind seeing Musician Number Three again.

the mouth

2007-08-13T12:15:00.001-07:00

Many moons ago I went to a Kentucky derby party in Brooklyn. I was probably on my sixth mint julep when this guy sat next to me and said "hey, lets play a game and wager a drink." It was some clever 5 question game which I lost to and inevitably had to buy Mouth a drink. He was funny and in my drunken haze I was like "awe, what a nice guy". So we exchanged emails and the next day he emailed me and said "hey lets go out sometime". But I had a man at that time and had to decline. So recently, I joined Facebook and Mouth finds me on it. I was like "hey, its that funny guy!" So we plan on going out for mojitos for happy hour.

So its Thursday night and I am talking to my coworkers/friends who also went to that same derby party, telling them I am going to meet that guy. My friend immediately goes: "Wait, but you said he was creepy!" Shocked, I was like "crap, I did?!" Damn juleps.
But it was too close to the meeting time that I couldn't just cancel and he seemed nice, so I just kept the plans.

We met up at some bo-ring chain restaurant in the upper east side. I guess I just had to say upper east side and that defines itself-- sorry if I offend any readers. The place packed with corporate america: finance/generic crowd where the men all looked the same (checkered buttondown shorts tucked into pleated slacks) and complimented by a very pretty array of women ranging from 21-50 all looking to find her Mr. Big.

When I see him he has nice kind eyes. I smile, he smiles and I see a nice mouthful of brown, crooked teeth. *gasp. But I am not being judgy, just was my first impression, so we go on and try to find a standing spot.

When we finally get our mojotos and start talking.....

Mouth starts to tell me a story and suddenly I feel pellets of his spit fall on my cheek.

One.
two.
three.

Three times in twenty minutes. I get very nautious with shit like that so of course my mind is racing and just waiting for the next attack of saliva on my face. I just keep thinking to myself, that shit better not land on my lips or I am going to throw up.

I get frustrated so then I start exaggeratingly wiping my face hoping he would get the hint. Of course, dude has no idea and keeps on yammering. I am not even listening to him by then because I am so disturbed by this entire situation and try to think of a way out.

Fifteen minutes pass by and the mojitos are strong. I say "hey, lets order chips or something because I am getting buzzed way too strong". He says "No, lets no yet, I'm not hungry, just get a glass of water".
Ewe...Already I am thinking, selfish ass, I didnt ask you if you were hungry, I am hungry... So I say "No, lets just get chips, I will pay for them its not a big deal" and he says "No, lets just wait please (he did say please) just until the next round"
So I say "fine" and just think he could be spitting chips coated in saliva at me so I don't push.

So about five minutes into it these two women walk into the bar near us. One is in her late 40's and the other is in her mid 30's. The one in her 40's starts talking to this man in his 60's and they are yappin it up and the woman in her 30's pokes at Mouth and starts up a conversation. Well the thing is, is that they were really conversing. So I of course think, okay this is strange but GREAT because I can leave and join my friends at their happy hour.
I go outside to give them some alone time and so I can smoke a cig. When I get back, they are all talking and the old man comes up to me and says "Hey, since you left, you just lost your spot. Why don't you come back in lets say... mmmm two hours".

yes people. I got the 'tude from the old man. what an a-hole btw. I soon notice that its not me he's mean to but everyone. just a horny, angry old man. He was aggressively hitting on every woman that came by and eventually his friend had to escort him out of the bar. And they say men are better with age. j/k

Unfortunately there was no love connection between 30 yr old lush and Mouth. btw, Lush was an amazon woman. giant man hands who admitted she was in love with her brother. yes. that is what I said.

So the 40 something socialite had to go and emphasized to Mouth that we had to take care of Lush. Oh did I mention that Mouth made Lush buy us drinks?? Yeah.. and we were there till 10:30 and no food. just a measly thing of chips and guac.

10:30 arrives and I emphasize that I REALLY have to go but suggest him and Lush should hang out. Then we look around for Lush. Where is she? She can't sit, almost falls and yet picks herself up to approach a random guy who just sat for dinner in the dining area! She comes back and I was like "uh, did that work out for you?" and she stammers "nah... I don't think he likes me.. Hey, help me find a guy.. just pick one and help me, I bought you guys drinks..."

I thought..Nice move, Mouth. Get Lush to say we owe her. Lush seemed so sensibile until that moment.

So we got her a water and said we would take her to a cab. Mouth was actually really good about it and tryed to help her out.
She was not having it though. She was like "Jusss go! I'll be finne"
So we said okay we tried and left.

Oh, btw, I finally did approach Mouth about the spittoons and he was really embarrased and said he has really been trying to work on that.
lol I am so mean but you have to say something!! And he wasn't creepy. very pushy-flirty but not creepy... just not sexy either.

The end, Mouth kissed me, I was cornered so I kissed a very salilva-y kiss (nautiousness rising..) and said goodbye. I hopped in a cab whom I directed inmmediately to take me to the Crocodile bar in the LES to meet my friends. I ran over, hugged hellos and washed down that painful experience with a refreshing pint of Bass and free pizza.

Oh. one more thing. Saturday night I get a voicemail and an email this weekend from Lush. (When Lush wasnt showing her Lush colors, she was very cool, so I gave her my business card.) She says:

Hi There...
This is the disaster from last night! I wanted to apologize, I didn't eat very much for dinner and drank way too much! My friend XXXX said someone called her from my phone... was it you? Do you have my phone or know who does.. ?? I will try and get to a phone and call your # on the card. Thanks, and sorry again! -Lush

Rejection

2007-08-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

So, after 3 dates with Nerve guy that I call Hoodies, I had to reject him, partially in favor of an even better Nerve dude, but also because we just weren't clicking. The question was: should I email a 'thanks but no thanks' type note or just not contact him again? He wasn't texting or emailing me or anything until several days later, when I received a nice voicemail message just seeing what I was up to. Then a few days later, the text:

So I'm beginning to think you've turned Amish or think I'm a sexist pig. Either of which sucks, haha. - Hoodies

So now the guilt sinks in. And I realize I have to email him. This is what I wind up sending:

Hey Hoodies,

Sorry I haven't responded to your texts. I have NOT turned Amish nor think you're a sexist pig. I've just started seeing someone kind of seriously, though. Good luck with your business and, well, everything!

And lo and behold I got a RESPONSE. I just can't figure out if it's snarky or not.

Hey,

Thanks for clarifying that. I was just beginning to accept the fact that I was just a flavor of the week. That's cool you found someone, you're a cool gal.

Thoughts?

email from scientist

2007-08-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

i'm out of town as you ladies know. had one date with the scientist before i left, and we've been sending one another links and such in the interim.

i neglected to mention in my post before that on our first date he told me that he was born deaf, and he had a surgical procedure to correct it... and i'm sure that it's totally corrected, but when i read his emails, the sentence structure is.... well, i dunno, he seems...... not dumb....but deaf. he even talks this way slightly in person....he's certainly not "that deaf dude", but he talks low unnecessarily, reeled his head in a little close too mine when i was talking (and i talk loud, because i'm convinced i'm deaf too), etc.

whatevs. i'm sure that i'm thinking of this way too much, but here is his latest email that i wanted to add and subtract s's and add 'eds to.. but either way, the last sentence was super nice and complimentary.

okay. here it is (and he even says "hoity-toity" which i say and love. i also realize that this email won't make any sense out of context with his wretched grammar and the fact that we've talked about misc BBC online articles and such)
____________

Seriously thought, he does all the reading and I tell
all the jokes, it is one of the untold stories about a
boy and his giant.
Today (meaning somewhere between Thursday and Friday)
is much more realistic in temperature then it has
been, Although I am not satisfied, but you know it is
a sisyphean feat trying to accomplish that. I am
helping one of the girls in my lab study for her GRE
so words like 'sisyphean' come around each day, I am
not so hoity-toity.
Hey, you were checking out my shoes? I did not realize
you were you checking me out, hmmmm...that darn
engineer comes so obvious at times. It is funny (or
that sitituation when we use the word 'funny; when we
don't know how to explain ourselves) but i don't
think i mentioned how beautiful your smile was.

=pjb

salesman

2007-08-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

Day before yesterday I reluctantly went on a drink date from this guy I will refer to as Salesman.

As internet daters, we all can agree that there's got to be that something that draws you to want to do all that work to ultimately see each other face to face. Salesman had that all American guy look, but there was either something missing or just not right.
But of course I said "eh. why not"-- (....I really need to stop doing that )

The day of the date was when the high was to be a scorching 95 degrees, so I suggested going to a cute wine bar that also happened to be oh-so close to my apartment (less sweatier the better).
So he was like "okay, how about somewhere between 8:15-8:45, i want to go to the gym so I will call you when I get out".

I thought to myself, Great, I also can go to the gym, so then texted back "hey, sounds good I can hit the gym too, want to make it easier and just meet at 9?"

Then I get a reply:
"Hmm, now you are picking the time and the place? Since I am accomidate you on the place, can you accommidate me on the time? I really think that 8:15 would be better for me"

I am mildly irritated at this point. Is he saying that because its a power thing or because he misunderstood me? I was only trying to help... So I give him the benefit of the doubt and write back "sure thing, whatever works best for you"

THEN he texts me this!:
"good girl..... j/k. Can't wait to meet you, see you at 815"

Okay, now I am officially irritated. "good girl?"

So then he calls me at 7:30 (i just got out of the gym) and he goes "hey i'm in Chelsea.
I was like "uh, i just got out of the gym, im not ready to meet you yet, why don't you go shopping or something while you wait for me"
then he goes "well that bar you chose, I didn't realize it was a wine bar, I don't like wine.. well I do like wine but I'm just not in the mood. Do you know anywhere else go?"

I think to myself, this dude is out of control. Wouldn't you look up the place and know where you're going before you get there? I am pretty sure I distinctly said "wine bar"

So he says he will walk around and pick a place. He picks this restaurant that is mainly populated with hot trendy gay men. I thought it was a little random but didn't really think anything about it because it was a quick fix for not wanting to go to a wine bar. Who doesnt like wine btw? so odd....

So I get there and Salesman has made friends with everyone at the bar (seriously) and especially is flirty with the bartender. I was like okay, this guy is so flamboyant but I am already over the date before its begun. So we talk, he is definitely a chatty cathy talking about his amazing job, working for the best and biggest investment real estate banking company that is his fathers, etc.. He constantly does the sleezy eyeing up and down and "compliments" me on my legs, etc. then turns and flirts it up with the bartender. its like I get ten minutes, bartender gets five minutes, etc. So weird!

The drink thing lasted for a whopping one hour-- thank goodness. I hugged him goodbye and as I walked away he replies:
"damn, I love that dress you're wearing, it accentuates all the right areas"

ewe.

he texts me that night: "Oh my goodness. You were so calm. Loved your demeanor. very feminine. And what a bod! I couldve finished u off in like 2 bites ..... :)..

*ewe.

then he writes the next day:
"Hope I didn't offend thee with my text?.......... :)

**yes, yes you did

the afternoon:
"No Response????"

**i stopped writing after that drink thing, but i figured I should just write an "I'm not interested email". so I did. I write:
Hey xxxx,
Just wanted to say I had a nice time with you last night. No, your text didn't offend me, thanks for all the compliments
I am writing just to be honest with you, I just don't know that we are the right "fit" for each other. I hope you can understand and have no hard feelings.

Good luck on your search though, I am sure you will have no trouble finding that special someone.

Best,
me

See, I put in all those smiley faces to lighten things up.

So I text him "um, I wrote you an email."
and in five minutes he writes: "Are you serious? We barely know each other and you're judging "fit???" what is up with that?"

then a minute later:
"Your email was so formal and ridiculous... you hardly know me. Oh my god........

the end. I hope...

Scientist/date results

2007-08-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

The scientist was alright. I mean, he definitely lived up to the wittiness portrayed in his emails, and he even bought my drinks (which rarely seems to happen when i go out with dudes).

But. Okay. There are certain questions a lady needs to ask before going out i think.

1. do you live alone?
2. do you have friends?

He neglected to leave out the part where he's 31 and still lives in a house with his two sisters and his dad. He also doesnt, and has never owned a cell phone. He has a 718 number that he answered both times I called prior to our meeting up, but what's going to happen if I ever call again? I imagine it'll be like high school again when someone else in the house answers the phone, and then I hear "Hold on... SCIIIIIENTIST. some girl is on the phone for you! pick up the phone!!!!" and I will have to like, go through the weirdness of wondering who will answer the phone when i call his house. In other words, I guess i WON'T ever call his house, because I'm not trying to talk to his sister or his dad... not to mention, am i going to be allowed to call past 9pm?

I do plan on seeing him again, if he'd like to see me. Because he was super nice, and easy to talk to, and we had similar senses of humor and all that. He also walked me home, and wasn't the least bit skeezy, and he sent me a very nice email this morning letting me know that he had a good time and wants to see me again. I'm going out of town for a few days, but would like to see him when I get back. Also, as I predicted, he was way cuter than the picture that he sent me. And he was taller than me, which was nice. He has bad posture though...

In regards to the second question, he kind of touched upon how he doesn't have a ton of friends, and at work he doesn't think he's well liked by others, and apparently his boss has him working alone on a lot of projects, and other people have been asked to not have to work with him. But, he says that that's because everyone in his field are huge nerds, and he's not... I kind of understood that, because my very first boyfriend in college was a mechanical engineering major, and he absolutely HATED his classmates. He was really cool, but the people in his field were not, so it was more of a personality clashing thing, more so than him being someone that people ran far away from. So, I'm not completely holding this against him, but it's definitely going in to the "hmmmmmm" thought box.

Overall, not sure if there are sparks per se, and not completely sure if I can see myself touching the wang, but it's worth giving it a second date. Also, he has a labcoat that I'm dying to see, and he promised that he'd bring it with him on our second date....

robot

2007-08-08T16:13:00.000-07:00

“Interesting in an unromantic way”
6.25, 11:33 AM EST

This converstation is from the nerve dating site. Just read these emails, he is half robot/half man

Subject: Write me if you if you think I’m cute and not crazy
body: That is kind of the next step in its briefest forum

#2
Subject: well I am glad that you examined your filtered emails
body:

As a creative person I am curious what type of designer you are.

We should try to get drinks someday.

It would be nice if one day we could maybe cook dinner while watching a great foreign film.

I have a lot of outdoor spare and cook outside often. A Korean BBQ over would is not outside my range of skills alothough I think the wine might benefit from something western.

Cooking for me is a kind of creative yet pastoral activity. Eating is more

like being cow in a pasture contented but neither active nor enlightened.

Really cooking is not enlightening but it makes me feel connected to

tradition.

Oh an I have a penthouse in a hotel where there is a tradition of creative

people living.

#5 (mind you by this time I have stopped all communication and he keeps writing)

I would really like to talk to you more. Although there are intellectual aspects to what I do the commercial part is really high margin, high price, low volume sales. I have a strong interest in mass market luxury as it

interacts with taste.

Fashion is a common expression of this interaction but it is a bad business.

I had considered backing a jewelry line but I never considered watches as a

creative endeavor due to the technical issues. If you call I promise to be

charming. My cell number is XXXXXXXXX. What is yours?

I actually wrote a intelligent email about design and the integration of form and function as well as the "New Luxury" and then I closed it without sending or saving it.

Well suffice it to say I find these topics interesting and would enjoy

talking with you.

*** So I now try to close this by saying:

Sorry I haven't written, I just don't really know how to respond to your emails. They are just so formal and business-like. Anyhoo.. I just wanted to be honest and let you know that don't think we would be compatible, but good luck with your search. I am sure you will find someone that is more your match.

subject: “Interesting in an unromantic way”

Actually, I am a lot of fun but I have a business like interest in the very area you specialize in. I know a lot about clothing construction but that area would not have elicited a business like inquiry because . . . well it is just a bad business . . . jewelry I know less about but still quite a bit. . Watch design is interesting to me in the same way that architecture is In the end my personality is mix of being intensely creative and bohemian but also a lawyer can be a little disconcerting . . .

I think we might have found each other interesting in an unromantic way which is why I wrote what I did. I will always be on the look out for interesting company even after I have found that “match” and learning about how a creative field works is well worth a few drinks to me.

Unlike most of these types of things I thought even without any chemistry talking with you would be stimulating and not a waste of time.

The Scientist/before the date

2007-08-07T17:14:00.000-07:00

I posted this ad on craigslist a few days ago:

single, randy, nerdy, sane SBF seeks single, randy, nerdy, sane M - 26 (brooklyn)

Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-04, 3:54PM EDT

alrighty, here goes it...

i am 26, sbf. cute. i'm a designer and tend to get along more with other creative types (photographers, designers, artists, mimes...etc)

it's so hot today that i'm inside, but this would have been a nice day to enjoy a hidden corner of the MoMa. instead, i'm going to spend the afternoon finishing up Perfume by S¨skind. (argh! what is the key command for the umlaut?!)

i don't have any height requirements like a lot of girls on here. (i think that's dumb) and i'm probably one of the most laid back, drama free, friendly people that you'll ever meet. you should be too. i don't care what race you are, but please don't be as old as my dad. (he's 63--i prefer 26-35 give or take a bit).

you love scrabble and picnics. i'm really itching to play with someone in the park soon. i also tend to swoon towards the cute men these days in nice glasses with a little facial scruff.

lastly, i don't have any crazy expectations or demands, and you shouldn't either. lets email a bit and see where it goes...

write me. your pic gets mine, but not if your reply is a cut and paste forward. that's whack.

________
Of course i got the typical round of replies. Two people stood out the most, one guy I'm meeting tonight, and another one that proved to be a total douche over iChat (thank god i didn't meet him, and he's definitely made me NEVER EVER even think about replying to a musician ever again)

Anyway, this guy is 31. And apparently he works in a science lab growing bacteria. I would think I would never have a thing in common with someone with a science background, but so far the email exchanges between us prove otherwise. We'll see what happens. I'm meeting him in an hour. I will either be back here posting about the time I had in less than an hour if it sucks, or I'll come and post about how eh/meh, and or good/great it was. So standby....-cew